curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
