Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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