Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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