i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
No stitches, just platelets and will power
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
