i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
