So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
