Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
