talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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