he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
