In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
