I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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