omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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