piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
