Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
