I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
