we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
