I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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