I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize