My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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