umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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