this boner is exhausting
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
