i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
