I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
