i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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