I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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