I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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