I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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