Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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