just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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