You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
