He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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