Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
