I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we're so committed to being not committed
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
