I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
