And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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