Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
