oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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