Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
