playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
