I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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