remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
