He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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