Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
