"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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