ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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