Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize