Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Please, let me fuck your mom
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
