they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
