That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
