what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize