It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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