Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
