Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
