Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
