I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We left the knife in your bed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
