What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
A bitchslap is in order.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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