It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
