I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
do nipples grow back?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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