I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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