My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
