okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
