Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
