My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Welp...herpes.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
